So only a month later, I’m here with another update – I will try to remain balanced and not go overly-positive; expect the usual litany of rhetorical questions and pointless suppositions.
So a few weeks ago, as I turned 25, I realised whilst browsing my catholic dating site that my search parameters were set to 25 maximum from when I started off the site several years previously. The epiphany – I was potentially cutting out portions of possible matches just because they were slightly older than I was. So, I upped the parameter maximum and messaged a handful of people after some more profile-surfing.
One of the several actually responded to me and was somewhat local (same extended county). The first thing I’d mention is in the sense of self-imposed categories, I considered myself to be punching above my weight on any imagined attraction scale. But hey-ho; what’s the point of being on these things if you can’t? So very quickly, these responses became fairly lengthy and good messages. Soon, we’d moved it to personal emails rather than using a dating site.
The big news – we arranged an actual, in-real-life date this weekend just gone (26th Feb). That was the first date I’ve successfully experienced from any online dating experiments so it feels pretty special.
The date itself was a lovely affair – a swanky restaurant, good food and excellent company. It was bizarre to date a fellow Catholic. I have rarely had such easy conversation including faith as a topic with friends and acquaintances, never mind romantic interests! The woman herself was breath-taking: raven hair, azure eyes, pale skin, demure laugh – the list could go on. Sadly, I feel I’ve suffered my usual fate – I am excellent at befriending people but far less so at demonstrating romantic interest. I don’t think flirting comes naturally to me.
The negatives I’d pick up on: 1) I can’t judge pace and interest at all – she’s got quite the social calendar so has warned that meet-ups could be spaced apart.
2) I have no idea how to balance romantic intention with standard conversation. All those stereotyped little things e.g. hand-holding, light kisses, brushing/touching. I know, I know – every couple’s different and these things happen as they do and people feel comfortable. But as this is a once-in-a-millenium experience for me, I’m overly-concerned about getting it right!
3) Interim date contact: in the modern world, how best do we use technology to maintain contact. In an immediate world, neglecting to text/contact someone is tantamount to disinterest. But then, corresponding regularly over daily trivialities is prone to get boring…isn’t it?
Anyway, back to a positive note – just when I thought she was losing interest at the meal stage, she was happy to go for a drink! Currently, we’ve arranged a second date just under a fortnight away. We are contacting regularly using WhatsApp, but I’m currently unsure of how long-term successful this will prove to be in advance of the second date.
This is the most inspiring contact I’ve had in years. Possibly ever in my entire lifetime! I’m trying to not inflate the importance of things in my own head. I’ve been praying for so long about this subject, it’s difficult not to leap at the first person and assume everything.
I’ll try and post updates as we go!