Hi all/any readers! Hope you’re all well.
It has been a while – now this is the point where I turn around and apologise and suddenly say, “But I have a girlfriend, and life’s so much better” etc. Nope. Life is as dull as ever. I still enjoy the little things like going for walks in my favourite spots, but I feel caged. So I currently live with my folks because it makes sense and they charge a ridiculously low rent. I don’t mind living here, but it’s the same old teenage roof with the rules – thing is, I would really like a dog – life has become so militaristically routine now, there’s no time for anything – not hobbies, not time to just do nothing, to think, and least of all to find a companion. And if women don’t care for me, might as well turn to man’s best friend for company.
But hey-ho, the folks don’t want a dog in the house. Not much I can do about it, and it is their house. They can shrug and say “You could move out.” But could I? Could I really? On the wage I’m on and with monthly rent being the flabbergasting amount it is now? Nah. Wouldn’t make any sense. Having said that, if this grows cagier and worse, who knows.
In the meantime, my hatred for online dating has really blossomed – I’ve had enough of hearing testimonials and all that balderdash. Women on dating sites seem to think the fellas on there are crude and after only one thing – and heck, they’re probably right – after all, I don’t search the men. But first, it’s not right to treat all of us like that and second, get off your high horse – when people like me send you messages that are pleasant, and take a healthy interest, what do you do? YOU DON’T REPLY of course. Don’t whinge to me about nice guys, or gentlemen then. Sorry, but you can’t have a chauvinistic, careless and dangerous arsehole, who sometimes treats you like his queen too. Doesn’t work that way. Can you tell I’m slightly bitter on this issue? Might have something to do with my own sister having joined a dating site and receives hundreds of (admittedly dodgy, gross etc.) messages a day. I have been on one for longer than 6 months and literally never received a starter message and I’ve only had one conversation with one woman. Sheesh.
Onto the religious aspect, I have since made a profile on Catholic Match, a purportedly Catholic dating site. Seems to do what it says on the tin. Oh, apart from one big stinker – you’ve got to pay to get full privileges – oh how very Christian of you. There are a mere handful of women from the UK on there, and they don’t reply either…! Is this the most hopeless cause of all time?
I am beginning to think that I somehow need to change my mindset – since childhood, I have always thought of life as being defined by those you’re closest to – those you consider family – something very different to friendship. But it would seem this otherworldly tier of affection is fine for everybody else and yet remarkably, an impossibility for me? It’s at this point, I can’t help comparing with others – their advantages and drawbacks – their looks within a couple. This road does not have a healthy end.
Right now, what would be nice (aside from the obvious discovery of a life-partner) would be to hear from others who might be experiencing similar issues or feelings with the world. All I can say is I already miss being a child – adulthood sucks and the greatest perk of it seems off-limits to me.
Peace-out for now.